


Feathers?

by casstarkk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Kid Castiel/Kid Dean Winchester, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18892444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casstarkk/pseuds/casstarkk
Summary: Dean Winchester was ten years old when he met Castiel, the angel of the Lord. The two quickly become best friends, but fate has another plan.





	Feathers?

Dean had to admit, life on the road wasn’t the most enjoyable lifestyle for a ten year old kid. He never stayed at the same school for more than a few weeks, his dad was never around, and he was often fairly lonely. Of course he had his little brother, Sam, but that’s really all he had. Because of all the moving around, he never got to make any friends. Dean convinced himself it didn’t bother him. He couldn’t afford to be weak. Nothing mattered more to him than looking after Sammy. He had to be strong for him. 

Dean crawled into bed once he was sure Sam was sound asleep. He laid there, listening to the strange sounds of the old, dusty motel room. Dean was old enough to know what was out there. His dad had prepared him well enough to defend himself and protect Sam. He didn’t get scared very easily, but this night was different. He heard loud explosions and saw bright lights coming from outside the window. 

He made sure Sammy was still asleep, grabbed his gun, and carefully crept outside. When he opened the door he saw a young boy, around his age, standing at the doorstep. He felt a sense of relief and out down the gun. The boy was dressed in what Dean would call “church clothes.” He wore a tie, and a long brown trench coat. “Who are you?” The boy stepped forward and smiled. “I’m Castiel. And I’m guessing you’re Dean?” Dean felt a strange feeling in his stomach. Why did this boy know his name?

“How do you know my name? And what are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

“I’m an angel of the Lord. And I’ve been sent here to speak with you, Dean.” Dean didn’t believe what he was hearing. This had to be a trick. “Angel? There’s no such thing. My daddy told me so.” Castiel tilted his head slightly in confusion. Suddenly, bright white lights flashed like lightning, and large, feathery wings appeared behind the small boy. “Do you believe me now?” Dean could hardly speak. “W-why are you here?” 

“My dad says you and I are going to do great things one day, Dean. I’ve been assigned to watch over you and your little brother, until that time comes.” This was all too much for Dean to handle. First an angel appears to him, and now he’s saying there going to do great things together someday? “I don’t need you to watch over me. I’m perfectly fine.” 

“Dean, you don’t have to do this alone.” Suddenly, without any warning, Castiel was gone. “You really suck at goodbyes,” Dean whispered under his breath. He went back inside and got into bed. He couldn’t tell Sammy what had just happened, he was far too young to understand. And he knew his dad would never believed him, so he decided to keep it to himself. 

A few weeks went by and still no sign of Castiel. Dean was convinced he had dreamt it all up. Angels, he thought to himself. Yea right. He was out getting food for him and Sam when the angel suddenly appeared. “Cas?” Dean said, unintentionally giving the boy a nickname. “Hello, Dean.” 

“I didn’t think you were gonna come back.” Dean was surprised to hear himself say this. Why did he care if Cas showed up or not? “I’ve been busy up in Heaven. How are you?” 

“I’m good. Just getting food for Sammy.” Dean was unsure why Cas was there, but wasn't opposed to the company. It actually felt kinda nice to have someone out doing errands with him. Although, Cas wasn’t much of a help, he mainly followed Dean around the store. Cas had never been on Earth before his first encounter with Dean, and was fascinated with Dean’s human behavior. “Cas, why are you standing so close to me?” Dean asked as Cas breathed down his neck. “I’m just watching.”

“Well, dude, back up. Personal space.” Cas squinted his eyes and slowly took a step back. He still had much to learn about humanity. “Well, Cas, I’ve gotta be getting back to Sam so you better go. He doesn’t know about the supernatural and I don’t need an angel walking around our motel room.” Without saying a word, Cas was gone. 

That night Dean laid in his bed, secretly hoping that Cas would stop by the next day. 

…

A few days later, John had returned and it was back on the road for the Winchester boys. Dean felt a little anxious about being back on the road. What if Cas wasn’t able to find him? He couldn’t deny that he had thought a lot about the angel recently. He hadn’t seen him since the night at the store, and somewhat missed him. These emotions confused Dean. 

When they rolled into the new town, John dropped Dean off at a nearby elementary school. “Bye, Dean. The daycare is just around the block, don’t forget pick up Sam there after school.” He nodded and John drove away. Dean was used to new schools every few weeks, but he always felt a little anxious walking in on the first day. I wish Cas were here right now, he thought to himself. Suddenly, Cas appeared right next to him in the middle of the school hallway. “Hello, Dean.” Dean grabbed Cas’s arm and dragged him into the nearest bathroom.

“Cas, what are you doing here? You can’t just pop in the middle of school! Someone could’ve seen you!” 

“Well, I heard your prayer.” Dean didn’t understand. “Prayer? What prayer?” 

“You said you wished I was here, so here I am.” 

“You could hear that?” Cas nodded. “I am an angel, Dean. If you ever need me, just pray, and I’ll be there.” Dean wished he would’ve known that sooner. “Well, just be careful next time. So, what are you gonna do? You can’t come to class with me.” 

“I can just wait here for you.” 

“You’d wait here that long? For me?” 

“Of course.” Dean felt a strange feeling in his stomach, like butterflies. Why would Cas do that for him? No one has ever waited for him before. Especially not his dad. “Thanks, Cas. Hey, you can come play on the playground with me at recess! You’ll blend right in, it will be fun!” Cas agreed and Dean headed off to class, feeling a lot less anxious than he had before. 

“Class, this is our new student, Dean Winchester.” Dean awkwardly smiled and made his way to the back of the class. He watched the clock, anxiously waiting to meet Cas out on the playground. Time couldn’t go fast enough. 

The teacher assigned a project called “My Best Friend.” The objective of the project was to draw a picture of your best friend, and write a small paragraph describing them. Dean smiled when he heard this assignment. For the first time, he knew exactly what he was going to do. Dean quickly whipped out a piece of paper and began to draw. 

…

Recess finally came and Dean ran to the bathroom where he had left Cas. “Cas! Where are you?” To his disappointment Cas was nowhere to be found. He solemnly dragged his feet out of the bathroom and sat alone on a bench near the basketball court. “Cas?” he whispered to himself, “Where did you go? You promised me you’d wait for me.” 

“Are you talking to yourself?” Dean looked up to see a few boys standing around him. “No, I was just, um.” He was sure what to say. “Hey, everyone! The new kid, Dean, is talking to himself! I told you he was weird!” A larger crowd circled Dean and began to laugh. He felt like crying, but he didn’t. He picked himself up and ran to the closest bathroom he could find, locking himself in a stall. 

“Oh, Cas. Where are you?” 

…

“Hey, Dean! What did you draw?” Sammy asked, noticing the drawing Dean had left on the table. “Oh, that’s just a drawing for school. It’s my, um, imaginary friend.” 

“Cool. What’s his name?” 

“Castiel. But I call him Cas. He’s super cool, he’s an angel. He has these really big, fluffy wings and stuff.” Little Sammy’s eyes widened at Dean’s story. He wanted an imaginary friend just like Cas. “Hey, Sammy, can you watch some TV or something real quick? I’ve gotta go do something.” Sam nodded and plopped himself down in front of the TV. 

Dean went into the other room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the bed and folded his hands. “Cas? If you can hear me, I really need you man. Today was a really rough day after you didn’t show up, and I’m scared to go back tomorrow. You said you’d always come when I call, so I’m calling. Please, Cas.” 

Nothing.

…

The next day was worse than the first. Dean was continuously bullied throughout the day, with still no sign of Cas. He tried his best to hide himself in the back of the classroom, and when the teacher announced they were going to be presenting their best friend projects he nearly puked. “Dean, it’s your turn.” He slowly stood up and stumbled to the front of the class. 

“Um, my best friend is named Castiel. He has blue eyes and dark brown hair. His favorite outfit to wear is this brown coat,” he said pointing to the picture. “He is really nice, and like it when he spends time with me.” A kid raised his hand. “Why does he have wings?” Deans heart began to race. “Um. I just thought they’d look cool.” He swore he heard a few kids laugh at his response. 

…

When Dean was walking to pick up Sammy from the daycare center, he was startled when Cas suddenly appeared covered in blood. “Cas! Are you okay? What happened?” Cas grabbed onto Dean, as he could barely stand. “I’m sorry I left you, Dean.” Dean carefully helped him sit down. “Cas? What happened?” he asked softly.

“Well, I have a lot of big brothers and they get into fights a lot. And since I’m the littlest angel, they pull me into the fights and I get hurt.” Seeing Cas like this broke Dean’s heart. “Cas, I’m so sorry.” He placed his hand on Cas’s back, attempting to comfort him. Cas flinched. “Hey, it’s ok. I won’t hurt you.” 

“They say if I want to be big and strong like them someday, I have to learn how to fight. But it’s s-scary, Dean.” Cas was crying now. “Can’t you tell them you don’t want to?”

“I don’t have a choice, Dean.” Dean hung his head low, understanding what Cas was going through. If he was being honest, he didn’t want to be a hunter. He wanted a normal life, with real friends, and a family. But he didn’t have a choice. “I’m sorry, Cas. Hey, I’ve gotta go pick up my brother. Please come by later.” Cas faintly nodded, avoiding eye contact. And like that, he was gone. 

A few hours into the night Dean was awakened by a dark presence in the room. When he opened his eyes he saw Cas sitting there on the bed. “Cas! What are you doing here? You almost gave me a heart attack! Never do that again.” Dean looked over at Sammy to make sure he was still asleep. “My apologies, Dean. I waited until Sam was asleep so I could talk to you.”

“Cas, I’m not an angel. I’m human, I need to sleep.” Dean realized he had made Cas upset. “Hey, I’m sorry, it’s been a bad day. I’m really glad you’re okay. You look a lot better.”

“Thank you, Dean. I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you. What happened?” Dean’s stomach twisted in knots as the memories flooded his mind. “People are just mean. It’s hard moving around a lot. People always think it’s funny to be mean to the new kid. I don’t have any friends.” Cas perked up. “I’m your friend, Dean.”

Dean smiled. “Yes you are, Cas. And that makes me very happy.” Dean stood up and pulled Cas into a hug. “What is this?” Cas asked, not hugging back. “It’s called a hug, you idiot. You’re supposed to hug back.” Cas slowly wrapped his arms around Dean, nuzzling his head into his neck. They stayed there for a minute, swaying in each other’s arms. “I like hugs,” Cas mumbled, auditing a small laugh from Dean. 

…

Dean held his breath as he entered the school, praying he would go unnoticed. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, as he walked quickly down the hallway. “Hey, Dean!” Please, not today, he thought to himself. He kept walking, not looking back. He felt two hands push his back, causing him to fall to the ground. “Oh sorry, didn’t see you there, Winchester.” Dean looked down at his leg, and saw blood spilling onto the concrete. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” 

“Oh, you’re not getting away that easy. Where’s your best friend, Castiel now?” The three boys surrounded him, causing Dean to shield his face in fear. He shut his eyes, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He was surprised to hear a familiar voice. “Leave him alone.” It was Cas.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Without any hesitation, Cas’s fist met his face. The boy stood there in shock, with blood seeping out of his nose. “Anything else you wanna say?” Cas asked, taking a step closer. The boys ran away in fear, screaming at the top of their lungs. 

“Cas? How did you know I was in trouble? I didn’t even pray to you.” Cas reached out his hand to help Dean up. “I could feel it. Even if you don’t pray to me, I can feel when you need me.” Cas placed his hand on Dean’s leg, sending an electric shock through his body. Dean looked at his leg, that was now completely healed. “Woah, how did you do that?” 

“I’m an angel, Dean. I can heal people.” 

“Cas, you are the best.” Dean jumped into his arms, with the biggest smile on his face. Cas now understood that this was a hug, and hugged him back. “You’re welcome, Dean.” When they pulled apart, Dean noticed Cas had a somber look on his face. “Cas, what’s wrong?”

“They hurt you. Why would they hurt you?”

“I told you. Kids are mean. Don’t worry about it.” 

“But you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to get hurt.” Dean smirked. “Hey, did you just call me your best friend?” 

“Yes. You are my best friend, Dean.” Dean had never been this happy in his life. A best friend is something he had wanted for years. And now he finally had one. “You’re mine too, Cas.” 

… 

The boys at school didn’t bother Dean anymore, if fear Cas might show up again. But, to his dismay, the case was done, and it was onto the next town. His eleventh birthday was coming up, and he was hoping to get cool leather jacket, just like his dad’s. But he knew the chances of that happening were slim, since he usually celebrated his birthday alone anyways. 

He hated the long car drives, especially lately. When he was bored at the motel he could just pray to Cas, and he would show up. But he couldn’t do that here. Not with Sam and Dad. Maybe someday he could introduce him to them. “Dad? Are angels real?” Dean asked, curious of what he might say. 

John turned around to make sure Sammy was asleep. “Dean, we’ve been through this before,” he whispered, “Demons, yes. Vampires, yes. Even freaking zombies, but angels? God? Ain’t no thing. There’s a lot of bad in this world, Dean. Life will be a lot easier if you just accept that.” 

“I know, I just thought there might be something good out there.” 

“Fraid not.” Dean bit his tongue, forcing himself to not speak a word of Cas. But boy did he want to. 

…

They arrived at the motel, and John immediately crashed on the couch after the long, grueling car ride. Dean crept outside, quietly closing the door behind him. “Cas? Are you there?” He closed his eyes, patiently waiting for his angel to arrive. “Hello, Dean.” 

“Cas! I’m so glad you’re here!” Dean’s smile stretched from ear to ear. Cas squinted his eyes, looking at Dean’s shirt. “What is that giant circle on your shirt?” 

“It’s The Death Star!” Cas clearly did not understand Dean’s reference. “Star Wars? Don’t tell me you’ve never seen Star Wars?” Cas shook his head. “Dude, I was gonna watch it for my birthday, you have to join me! It’s the best movie ever!” 

“When’s your birthday, Dean?”

“Two days from now. But don’t make a big deal about it. No one really does.” 

“Dean?” Dean’s stomach dropped at the sound of his father’s voice. He quickly turned around and began to stutter. “Oh, H-hi Dad. Sorry I, um, left the room. I was just going to get a soda from the vending machine.” 

“Who was that you were talking to?” Dean turned around to see that Cas had vanished. “Oh, just some boy I met.” John had an angry expression on his face. “Dean, you know you can’t get close to people. Not in this life.” Dean hung his head low. “I know. Don’t worry, he’s not my friend.” Even though it wasn’t true, saying those words out loud hurt Dean more than he could imagine. 

…

Dean couldn’t sleep the night before his birthday. He had had multiple nightmares where he witnessed his own father stab Cas through the heart. He watched the blood seep from his mouth, dripping onto his hands. He heard his last words: “Dean.” He tossed and turned in his bed, the image still flashing through his mind. He sat up and felt a warm tear trickle down his face. He looked at the clock, which read 12:04 AM. “Happy birthday, to me,” he whispered to himself, while he wiped his tears away. 

The next morning his dad was nowhere to be seen. Usually, this was normal on a hunt, but it was Dean’s eleventh birthday, and he was hoping his dad would be there to celebrate it with him. I’m sure he forgot, Dean thought. 

“Wake up, Sammy. Time to get up.” He didn’t expect Sam to remember, since he was only four years old. I guess I’ll be celebrating alone this year. Dean sat Sam down in front of the TV while he went to go get breakfast. “You stay right there, I’ll be back.” He was surprised to see Cas standing outside when he opened the door. “Happy birthday, Dean!” He handed Dean a large bag. “Open it.” Dean pulled out a beautiful leather jacket, that look just like his fathers. “Cas! How did you know?” 

“I heard you mention it before. Do you like it.” Dean wrapped his arms tightly around his angel. “I love it, Cas. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, Dean. When are we watching that movie about stars?” Dean giggled. “You mean Star Wars? And not till later tonight. I have to go get Sammy breakfast and watch him for a while. Maybe later when he goes to sleep. But, Cas, I’m so happy to see you today. You don’t know how much this means to me.” 

Cas smiled. Dean really liked it when Cas smiled. 

…

Dean waited all day for Sam to finally fall asleep so Cas could come over. The two snuggled up on the small motel room couch with a big blanket. Dean was wearing the jacket Cas gave him, and it suited him well. “Are you ready for this, Cas?” 

“Yes, Dean.” 

If he was being honest, Dean barley watched the movie. He was so focused on Cas, making sure he was reacting in the right way. He’d say, “did you see that?” or “wasn’t that awesome?” every once in a while. He never noticed how blue Cas’s eyes were until that night. Dean really liked the color blue. Cas simply nodded and smiled. Cas didn’t like the movie as much as spending time with Dean. That’s what made him truly happy. 

Suddenly, Dean heard the turning of the lock on the door. “Cas, you gotta hide. It’s probably my dad. He won’t be here long, just go hide in the bathroom.” Cas did as he was told, barely making it in time before John stepped through the door. “Dean, what are you doing up?” 

“Oh, I was just watching Star Wars. It’s, um, sorta my birthday today.” Dean couldn’t believe he had to remind his own father. John stumbled over to the couch, knocking over a table. “Dad? Are you drunk?” As he got closer Dean could see the redness of his eyes, and his reeking smell of alcohol filled the room. “Does it fucking matter? And I don’t care if it’s your fucking birthday, you should be asleep.” 

Dean raised his hands to cover his face, in fear John would try to hit him. Luckily, he stood up and stumbled out the door. Dean sat there and began to cry. He had completely forgotten Cas was in the bathroom this whole time, witnessing it all. “Dean?” he said softly, as he sat down on the couch. “Are you okay?” 

“No, I’m not okay, Cas. Why did it have to be today? I know he’s a mean drunk, and he doesn’t mean what he says, but why did it have to be today?” Dean had experienced drunk John far too many times before. Sometimes when it got really bad, he had to protect Sammy. 

Dean buried his hands in his face, while tears dripped through his hands and onto the floor. “Dean, I’m so sorry.” Cas slowly wrapped his arm around Dean, pulling him close. Dean laid his head on his shoulder and continued to cry. They laid there for a minute, just holding each other. 

“Cas?” Dean croaked through the tears, “I’m so happy you’re here. We’ll always be best friends forever, right?” 

“Of course, Dean.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

…  
Dean and Cas began hanging out every night after Sammy went to bed. Dean was tired from the lack of sleep, but Cas made it all worth it. Dean couldn’t deny that he was developing a small crush on the angel. “Have you ever liked anyone, Cas?” 

“Well I like you, Dean.” Dean wasn’t sure he understood. “I mean like like.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Oh, Cas. It’s when you really like someone and want to kiss them. Have you ever kissed someone?” 

“No,” Dean noticed Cas’s cheeks were heating up. “I haven't either. I’m too little. But when I’m old enough can...can I kiss you?” Cas tried to hide his smile. “I would like that, Dean.” Dean felt the butterflies tingling in his stomach. “If we get married, it won’t be weird right? Since, you’re an angel and I’m a human?” 

“I don’t think so, Dean. I think it would be fun to get married.” Dean brushed his hand over Cas’s, interlocking their fingers. Cas turned away, trying to hide his burning cheeks. He knew his brothers wouldn’t approve of him getting so close to the Winchester boy, but he tried not to think about them. Instead he focused on Dean. He counted the freckles that scattered his face, and got lost in the greenness of his eyes. 

Cas sometimes wished he wasn’t an angel so he could stay here on Earth with Dean. They could actually get married and grow old together. But Cas had a mission that he could not escape. He quickly let go of Dean’s hand and vanished into thin air, leaving the poor boy alone. “Cas?” 

A few weeks went by with no sign of Cas. Dean was afraid he had scared him off. He cried himself to sleep a few nights, worrying he’d never come back. Before he knew it, he was back on the road heading to a new town for another case. The drive was long and with a broken tape deck, the car was silent. Sammy was asleep in the back, as usual, while John was focused on the road. “Hey, Dad?” Dean asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yes, Dean?” Dean took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “How come some boys like other boys?” John didn’t answer at first. “Well, Dean, some boys are born what they call gay. In my opinion they are born wrong. A man is supposed to be with a woman, no acceptions. It is freaking disgusting what they do, and you should stay away from it.” Dean didn’t understand what was so wrong about liking a boy. 

“Can’t a boy likes boys and girls?” 

“That is called bisexual, and it is still wrong. Why are you asking me this, Dean? You haven't been around any faggots, have you?” Dean turned his head away from his father, shielding his teary eyes. “Oh, no. I was just wondering. I won’t ask again.” 

Bisexual, Dean thought. I think I’m bisexual. 

… 

A few painful days later, Cas appeared in the middle of the night, startling Dean. “Cas! You need to stop doing that!” 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I’ll sto-”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, cutting him off mid sentence. “I’m so happy to see you,” he whispered. Cas squeezed him tighter, closing his eyes. “I’m so happy to see you, too. I’m sorry I haven’t been here. There’s been a lot happening in Heaven, and they wouldn’t let me leave.”

“It’s ok. I’m really glad you’re here now. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and took him outside. “Cas, there...there is something wrong with me. I’m, um…” Cas could see Dean was struggling, and grabbed onto his hands, attempting to comfort him. “You can tell me, Dean.” 

“I think I’m bisexual. Do you know what that means?” Cas slowly nodded his head. “That means you like boys and girls right?” Dean nodded. “But, my dad says that it’s wrong, Cas. I don’t know what to do. Something is wrong with me!” Dean ripped his hand from Cas’s grip and began to cry. “Dean, nothing is wrong with you. You’re my best friend, and I think you’re awesome. And I’m happy you like boys, or else we couldn’t get married!”

This made Dean smile. “Cas, are you bisexual too?”

“Well, technically I’m an angel, so I’m not really a boy or a girl. All I know is I like you. And I like you a lot, Dean.” This made Dean very happy. How could it be so wrong if he like Cas. Cas was awesome. He slowly leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I thought you said we couldn’t kiss till we’re older?” Dean giggled. 

“I like you too much.”

…

Cas didn’t understand the strange human-like feelings he was developing for Dean, but he like them. One look at Dean and he felt all tingly inside. “Why are you staring at me, Cas?” Cas had been staring at him for about five minutes straight. “I like your freckles.” Cas reached his hand out to touch Dean’s face. “I wish I had freckles like you.” 

“Are you kidding? Cas, you have wings! Those are way cooler than stupid freckles.” Cas smiled, shyly. “Can...can I see them?” Dean had not seen Cas’s wings since the day that they met, now almost two years ago. Suddenly with a bright flash of light, Cas’s big fluffy wings appeared before him. “Wow!” Dean was mesmerized by the millions of feathers that grew out of his friends back. “They’re amazing, Cas.” 

“That’s...that’s how I feel about your freckles, Dean.” 

“Oh, Cas. I love you.” Cas quickly shot his head towards Dean. “Really?” Dean didn’t realize what he had just said. It just sorta slipped out. “Oh, um, I’m sorry.” Dean couldn’t recall having said these words to his own father, and felt embarrassed. “No, don’t be sorry. I love you too, Dean.” 

“You do?” 

“Of course.” Dean pulled his angel into a hug, never wanting to let go. He didn’t understand what he did to deserve someone so wonderful. I’m the luckiest kid in the world, he thought. “Dean, I’m sorry but I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later, freckles.” Dean liked this new nickname. 

“Bye, feathers.” 

…

Five Years Later

Dean never saw Cas again after that day. He prayed to him every night, begging him to come back. He often cried himself to sleep, and had countless nightmares that something awful had happened to him. But much had changed. He was seventeen years old now. 

There was no denying that Dean grew up to be a very attractive young man. He was asked out by many girls, at every school he attended. Dean always agreed to go out with them, but nothing lasted more than one night. It’s not that he didn’t want a relationship. But he just never seemed to connect with any of the girls the way he once did with Cas. 

He never stopped thinking about him. He even caught himself fantasizing about Cas while hooking up with a girl. Cas was his first true love, and he could never forget him. He began drinking and hooking up with random girls to help fill the empty hole that sunk in his heart. But nothing ever helped really filled the empty void.

Sometimes it would get so bad, he thought about taking his own life. He figured he’d go straight to Heaven and would finally get to see Cas again. But it was Sammy who always stopped him. He knew he couldn’t leave him alone with John like that. 

“Cas please,” he would say, “I need you here. I don’t even know if you’re alive, but if you are I know you can hear me. I don’t know what I did to scare you away, but I’m sorry. I miss you so much. Nothing is the same without you. I’m scared, Cas. I can’t do this alone. Please come back feathers.” Of course, there was never an answer. 

…

It was the day of Dean’s eighteenth birthday when he officially snapped. He remembered seven years ago, celebrating this day with Cas. Memories came flooding back to him like a knife to the heart. It was the day Cas promised him that they’d be best friends forever. It was the day that Dean fell in love. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. These thoughts, and memories. He rummaged through his things in the back of the impala. He pulled out the old crumpled up drawing he had made of him and Cas long ago. He pulled out his lighter, and watched the paper burn. Cas was never coming back, and he knew that now. A single tear trickled down his cheek. He vowed that day to never pray to Cas again. 

…

Eleven Years Later

Dean crawled out of the Earth, gasping for air. He looked around, unsure where he was. Just moments ago, he was suffering in Hell, and now he seemed to be back on Earth. “What the hell?” he mumbled to himself. He went to the nearest payphone he could find, immediately calling Sammy. After a painfully long phone call, the brother finally reunited. 

“Dean, I don’t understand. I mean I’m beyond thrilled, don’t get me wrong, but how?”

“Trust me I’d love to know.” He felt a strange burning on his arm. He peeled back his shirt to reveal a large red handprint, covering his bicep. “What the hell is that?” 

“Guess something must’ve pulled me out.” But who or what would pull Dean out of Hell? And why? “We should talk to Pamela. She’s a psychic, maybe she can help us figure out what did this.” Dean agreed, and they were on their way. Dean couldn’t deny that he was quiet fearful of the events to come. This thing must be pretty goddamn powerful. 

Pamela arranged a ritual so she could speak with this powerful creature. “I think I found him.” Dean leaned in closer, anxiety coursing through his veins. “Castiel?” she uttered. Dean froze in his seat, unable to speak. His heart began racing and the blood rushed from his face, leaving him looking like he’d seen a ghost. “Hey, Dean. Didn’t you used to have an imaginary friend named Castiel?” Dean looked at Sam with tears in his eyes, then turned to Pamela. “Is it him? Is it really Cas?” 

“I...I’ve lost contact with him. Dammit! But, yes. His name did seem to be Castiel.” 

“Sam, can I talk to you outside for a minute.” Dean quickly got up, as Sam followed. “Dean, what’s going on?” Dean’s hands were shaking uncontrollably. “Sam, Castiel wasn’t my imaginary friend. He was real. And he was...he was an angel. Yes, angels are real. And so is Heaven and God. It’s all real! And well he was my best friend, Sammy. We did everything together. But then one day, he just stopped showing up and I never knew why. Sam I lov-” Dean stopped himself. “He was very important to me.” 

Sam had never seen Dean act this way. “Well, maybe he’s the one that rescued you then. I mean, it makes sense.” Dean couldn’t begin to comprehend this. Was he really gonna see Cas again, after all these years? “I need to know for sure.” Dean noticed a small barn nearby. “I’ll be right back, you wait here.” 

Dean ran over to the barn and got down on his knees. “Cas? I know it’s been a long time, and I’m sorry. But if this was you, I have to know. Please, Cas.” Suddenly the roof began to rumble like roaring thunder. The lights began to blow out one by one, as the barn doors flew open. Dean squinted his eyes, attempting to see through all the flying sparks. 

A man came walking forward, dressed in a long brown trench coat. Neither of them said a word. 

The man stepped closer to Dean, reaching his hand out to touch his face. Dean felt sparks of electricity fly through his body, feeling this touch that he craved for so many years. Finally, the man spoke. “There are those freckles I missed so much.” Hearing those words overflowed Dean with emotions, causing him to fall into the man’s arms and cry. “C-Cas, I m-missed you so m-much.” Cas wrapped his arms around the crying man, resting his chin on Dean’s head. “I missed you too, freckles.” 

…

Dean couldn’t believe Castiel, his best friend, was sitting there right in front of him after all these years. “You have some goddamn explaining to do.” Cas could barely look him in the eye. He didn’t speak, causing Dean to become more upset. “I prayed to you, Cas, every night.” Tears began to well in his eyes.

“I heard you.” Dean’s tone rose, “You heard me? You fucking heard me? I thought you were dead, Cas! I thought...I thought you hated me! You don’t understand the pain you’ve caused me.” Dean couldn’t contain all of these feelings he had built up over the years and punched Cas right in the nose, knocking him off his feet. “How could you?” 

Cas wiped the blood away and slowly got back on his feet. “Dean, listen to me. I didn’t have a choice, okay? Of course I wanted to come back and see you. I wanted it more than anything. But my brothers said I was getting too close to you and they feared I was beginning to express human emotions. So they forced me to stay up in Heaven.” 

Dean felt sick to his stomach. Cas continued, “Hearing your prayers every night tore me apart. Seeing you in so much pain hurt me more than you will ever know. I even tried to fight my way down a few times, but they almost killed me Dean. But, I knew someday I’d find my way back to you.” The tears continued to flow from Dean’s eyes, making them all red and puffy. He struggle to get his words out. “H-how are you here now?” 

“My brothers believed enough time had passed, and that I was ready to return to Earth without any emotions getting in the way. So, they tasked me to save you from Hell. But they were wrong, Dean. I love you. And I always have.” Dean grabbed him by the trenchcoat and pulled him into his arms. “I love you too, Cas. I’m so sorry.” 

Suddenly, all of Dean’s childhood dreams had come true. He was kissing Cas. His Cas. Adrenaline shot down his body like fireworks, filling him with warmth and love. He could taste the salt from their tears and feeling the longing between them. Dean had never felt more happy than he did in that moment. 

“Cas, promise me you’ll never leave me again?” 

“I promise, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.”


End file.
